He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
