I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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