I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
