I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize