I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
