He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I didn't notice because vodka
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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