Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
