She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
