Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
