and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
