I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
