Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
