Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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