we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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