Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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