After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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