i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
