im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
