Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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