so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
