I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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