So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
