I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
