i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
