I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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