I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
