i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
