in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
