What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
