I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize