Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
