Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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