Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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