I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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