I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
