So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
