First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
