How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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