i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
