maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
