this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
