Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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