apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
