We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
