Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
my liver is dry heaving
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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