They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She's not a foreskin expert like you
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
