He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
