Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize