I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
