it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
