there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
