i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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