he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize