the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
