Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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