Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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