Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
