Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
