don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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