Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
